Many of us feel stuck in our current lives or perhaps we feel “Pushed” into a certain career or life that we ourselves may not have wanted. This is a common feeling shared with me from accountants, actresses, doctors, or engineers. I have met many people who felt “trapped” and that they are not in control.

The lesson I share with these folks, is a powerful one I learned from Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective people”. The lesson was centered around the debate of “Nature vs Nurture”. What makes us who we are?

In short:

Nature = An individual is pre-destined based on their genes. You are born in a way and that is how you live your life. Short/Tall, Slim/Strong, Smart/slow, Physically Able / Different abled etc.

Nurture = You are shaped by your environment. If you born into a wealthy family, or you had a good/bad education, you eat well, or the culture shapes you.

This is a common debate when they talk about “naughty” kids or kids who “misbehave”. It is also a very common excuse we adults give ourselves why we maybe are “unable to succeed” or that we are “unable to do” something. But let me share about the 3rd option. The option that can give you full ability to design your life.

Nature vs Nurture vs Choice

We always have the 3rd Option “CHOICE”. There are millions of examples of how this 3rd option “Choice” can make a difference. One powerful story is of Nick Vujicic. Nick was born with tetra-amelia, he did not have fully formed arms and legs. His mother refused to see him or hold him while the nurse held him in front of her.

The world was stacked against him. Physically he was challenged, and emotionally he was constantly bullied. He was not even allowed to go to school with other children. Nick almost took his own life. But he made a CHOICE. A choice to take charge of his life.  At 17 years old, Nick choose the option to help others and give others strength.

Today he helps millions and does activities many of us never dare to do. Including Shark Diving, Sky Diving, Surfing, and more. Just looking at Nick, you know immediately what is possible. And knowing that you always have that choice, how do you want to design your life?

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